Although I have stumbled through work the past few weeks, I am behind. Although I have been in contact with a few people, exhaustion arises when I think about catching up on work and social life. I am behind on catching up because 24 hours before Boris fell ill, the months-long season of the huge family wedding ended. So I have had two almost overlapping all-encompassing events. Now the job is to return to the same job, to the same requirements of daily living that I had asked of myself before. In the past, this kind of readjustment resulted in a crash, even in depression. I am trying not to let that happen. I am trying to reign in the descent and meet the challenge of watching each step. It is an attempt to walk and stay on the path of the middle way. It involves trying for compassion, for acceptance of self, for believing that every moment is perfect. Perfect even when it feels like this moment, this one now.
